The topic of divorce in the Bible is complex and often misunderstood. While marriage is held in high regard throughout Scripture, there are specific circumstances under which divorce is permitted or even encouraged. Let’s explore three biblically supported reasons for divorce, examining the context and interpretations of relevant passages.
1. Sexual Immorality (Adultery)
The most widely recognized biblical grounds for divorce is sexual immorality, specifically adultery. This reason is derived from Jesus’ words in the Gospel of Matthew:
“But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” (Matthew 5:32, ESV)
This passage, part of the Sermon on the Mount, introduces what is known as the “exception clause.” Jesus affirms the sanctity of marriage but acknowledges that sexual infidelity fundamentally breaks the marital covenant.
The Greek word used here for sexual immorality is “porneia,” which encompasses a broad range of sexual sins, including but not limited to adultery. This interpretation allows for divorce in cases where one spouse has been unfaithful, recognizing the severe breach of trust and intimacy that such actions cause.
It’s important to note that while divorce is permitted in these circumstances, it is not mandated. Many biblical scholars and Christian leaders encourage attempts at reconciliation and forgiveness when possible, citing examples like the prophet Hosea, who was instructed by God to remain with his unfaithful wife as a symbol of God’s faithfulness to Israel (Hosea 1-3).
2. Abandonment by an Unbelieving Spouse
The second biblical reason for divorce is found in the Apostle Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians. Here, Paul addresses situations where one spouse is a believer and the other is not:
“But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.” (1 Corinthians 7:15, ESV)
This passage speaks to situations where an unbelieving spouse chooses to leave the marriage. Paul advises that the believing partner should allow the separation, emphasizing that they are “not enslaved” or bound to the marriage in such circumstances.
The context of this teaching is important. Paul is addressing a community where conversions to Christianity were causing strains in marriages. His primary advice is for believers to remain with their unbelieving spouses if possible, as a testimony of faith and in hope of the spouse’s eventual conversion (1 Corinthians 7:12-14). However, he recognizes that in some cases, the unbelieving spouse may choose to leave, and in such instances, the believer is permitted to accept the divorce.
This reason for divorce is often referred to as “abandonment” in Christian teachings. It’s generally interpreted to apply specifically to cases involving an unbelieving spouse who leaves, rather than to all cases of marital abandonment.
3. Abuse and Neglect
While not explicitly stated as grounds for divorce, many biblical scholars and Christian leaders interpret certain passages as permitting divorce in cases of severe abuse or neglect. This interpretation is based on the overall biblical themes of love, respect, and the sanctity of human life.
One passage often cited in this context is from Exodus:
“If he takes another wife to himself, he shall not diminish her food, her clothing, or her marital rights. And if he does not do these three things for her, she shall go out for nothing, without payment of money.” (Exodus 21:10-11, ESV)
While this passage is specifically addressing polygamy in ancient Israel, many scholars apply its principles to monogamous marriages. The text outlines three basic rights of a wife: food, clothing, and marital rights (often interpreted as including emotional and physical intimacy). If these are neglected, the wife is permitted to leave the marriage.
Extending this principle, many argue that physical abuse, which threatens a spouse’s safety and well-being, is an even more severe violation of marital obligations than neglect. They point to passages emphasizing the loving, sacrificial nature of marriage (Ephesians 5:25-33) and God’s hatred of violence (Psalm 11:5) to support this view.
It’s worth noting that this reason for divorce is the most debated among biblical scholars. Some argue for a stricter interpretation that only allows divorce for adultery and abandonment. However, many churches and Christian counselors consider severe abuse as grounds for separation and, if necessary, divorce, prioritizing the safety and well-being of the abused spouse.
As a pastoral counselor, I’ve seen firsthand the devastating effects of abuse in marriages. While we always pray for healing and reconciliation, there are times when separation is necessary for safety. In such cases, we must remember that God’s heart is for the protection and flourishing of His children.
The Bible’s teachings on divorce reflect both the high value placed on the sanctity of marriage and the recognition of human frailty and sin. These reasons for divorce – sexual immorality, abandonment by an unbelieving spouse, and in some interpretations, severe abuse or neglect – are not prescriptions for divorce but allowances made in recognition of the brokenness of our world.
As we navigate these difficult waters, it’s crucial to approach each situation with compassion, wisdom, and a deep reliance on God’s guidance. The decision to divorce should never be taken lightly, but neither should we ignore the provisions made in Scripture for those trapped in untenable situations. May we always strive to uphold the sanctity of marriage while extending grace and support to those facing its dissolution.